The other day, and especially after a particularly strife-filled couple of days, my brain switched into a different mode. Instead of having hurt feelings, I emotionally separated myself from the situation and mentally compiled SOAP notes for my family member. It worked so well, I tried it a second time for a different family member!
This isn't exactly what I came up with that day, but will give you a good idea.
S (Subjective -- what kind of state a person is in): Met with Carson today in our home, highly agitated upon greeting; health seemed compromised by allergies and reported sore throat
O (Objective): He yelled 3 times; stomped out of room 2; scratched his own face and back under duress: 4 times; offered apology 1; used calm voice to solve conflict: 1/4
A (Assessment): yelling behavior is consistent with previous weeks; scratching has increased; offering apology -- progress noted (self reflection evident); using calm voice -- consistent with previous weeks
P (Prognosis/Plan): Continue to love Carson, encourage him to listen to music every day as soon as he gets home, Be patient - always patient, Forgive
I found myself not looking at family members as the enemy in battle but more as though each person can be seen as a whole person and consideration of other factors might help me not focus in on the one little thing that might have hurt my feelings.
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